Most people really enjoy playing the victim. It is a trait that isadopted at an young age which is then carried later into life. Earlyon, we seek comfort in the bosom of our mothers. The security andthe assurances we receive in these moments leave a deep impact uponour psyches. It is these feeling that people seek after later inlife.
As children, we receive a huge payoff by being the victim. It is away for someone, a child, so often overlooked to become the center ofattention. When we injure ourselves, we immediately run to mommy forhelp. It is at this point that she uses the magical powers allmothers have to “kiss it and make it better”. After a shortperiod of time, we learn that we can use this technique anytime wewant. Who among us has not run to have mommy kiss it when we reallywere not hurt? For many, it is the only way to get the care wecrave.
When we get older, being a victim still gains us desired attention. People tend to find others who will engage in the “pity party”behavior. Ever notice a group of them standing around allcomplaining about how poorly they are treated? They all console eachother thus solidifying the payoff for the behavior. Regardless ofthe circumstances, it is always someone else's fault. If someone orsomething would act differently, then their lives would be magicallytransformed. Naturally, even if this were the case, theseindividuals would find something else to commiserate over. Thevictimization mindset is so prevalent that it overpowers most otherthinking.
Unfortunately, playing the victim also makes individuals powerlessover their lives. As long as it is someone else's fault, creatingchange for the better is impossible. We become products of ourenvironment and circumstances. The external influences are whatshape the people that we become. Life is no longer a series ofchoices that we make but a result of bouncing from one circumstanceto another like a pinball. Unhappiness is the common emotion inthese instances. However, ask these same people what they can do tochange their plight and they will tell you “nothing”. Thepowerless has invaded the psyche also.
If you are to change your life, you can begin by immediatelyadopting the premise that you created all that you have in your life. This applies equally to the good and the bad. Take responsibilityfor everything that occurs. When this is done, you are empowered tochange your life as you see fit. You are no longer a helpless victimmoving from one unenviable situation to the next. Instead, you arean individual that understands that the present spot you occupy is aresult of the choices that you made in the past.
Life is nothing more than a series of choices. There are a fewthings in life that we cannot change. The family we are born into,our ethnic makeup, and where we were raised are all circumstancesoutside our control. So, too, are the events that occurred while wewere children. However, everything that happened since we were ofthe age of conscious adult choice is our responsibility. If we claimthis responsibility, then we are miraculously able to alter ourreality.
It is important to realize that everyone has problems in theirlives. The most successful people seem to be that way because theyare better at handling these events than the unsuccessful. At thecore of this ability is that they take responsibility for all thatoccurs. Careful reflection usually will yield the poor decisionsthat led to an equally poor outcome. Major catastrophes typically donot occur in a vacuum. There are a series of decisions madebeforehand that led to those exact results.
If you are presently unhappy with some aspect of your life, takeresponsibility for bringing that situation into existence. Thethings people complain about such as family, jobs, co workers, areonly being experienced because of choices that one made. Nobody isforced to work at a particular company. Getting another job isalways an option. The people we marry is made out of our own freewill. If anything we have in life is miserable. we need to decide tochange the situation. This is what be empowered is all about.
Claim responsibility for all in your life to begin the road tosuccess.
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