David DeAngelo’s Dating Story of Dealing With Women

I made the decision a few years ago that I needed to get the area of my life ‘handled’ called ‘dealing with women’. So I made a decision and a commitment to myself and my best friend that I would do whatever it took to learn and ‘figure this out’. (Read Chapter 1 from Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill for more on this mindset.)

Some background: The girlfriends that I had in the past were mostly from luck now that I reflect on it. They were there, and I felt lucky to have them as my girlfriend at the time.

But I never knew how to approach women I didn’t know, and I could sit in a bar for three hours making eye contact with a woman and never have the nerve to go talk to her. Right now I’m just turning 30, and I’m about 5’10” and 160 pounds. I think I’m reasonably good looking, but I’ve never been the kind of guy that women just walk up and approach. (I say this to give you a frame of reference in relationship to the comments I make relating to looks, etc.) I’ve made myself more attractive by paying attention, learning, and using what works.

When I made the decision to get this part of my life handled, I decided that instead of trying to start with an angle (working at a strip club, becoming famous for something, etc.) that I would like to learn in a way that gave me power to act with just my personality and presentation. In other words, I wanted to make this part of who I was rather than a ‘trick’.

I have a rule of thumb in life that I use… it takes about 2-4 years just to get ‘good’ at something. And I mean JUST TO GET GOOD. Think martial arts, playing an instrument… anything. (Read Chapter 1 of Mastery by Leonard for more wisdom on
this topic.)

Sure, you can have some success and fun while learning, but experience has shown me that to really ‘get’ something and to be able to use it in many contexts successfully, you need to apply yourself for 2-4 years.

THEN, I think it takes another 2-4 years to become a ‘master’ of whatever you’re doing.

At the 10+ year level is usually where the Genius level really kicks in…
My point here is to say that I’ve been applying myself for a few years now, and I am now at the point where I feel confident and in control around women. I encourage you to make this a long-term commitment rather than just trying to get an instant cure. It will be worth it in the long run.

If you’re just plain lazy and want a shortcut, go ahead and try all of them. But you’ll most likely find, like most others do, that massive success with this material takes practice, effort, and a commitment.

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